Thoughts

For days now I Have been thinking of how much I need to blog. I find it therapeutic and yet terrifying at the same time.
It's so easy to come up with ideas for what to write about but how much of those ideas you are interested in reading is what stops me...I know I don't want to read something dull or run of the mill.
My children provide me fodder often however, I rarely have time to sit and immediately take care of putting it in the blog and so it just gets filed away in the deep dark corners of my brain where it sits and collects brain dust.
I wish I was better.
Really though, my thoughts tonight are not on what silly things they have said or done lately. They are not on what I have cooked that I have pictures of. No, tonight my thoughts are on spiritual matters. I want so badly to have a huge douse of gasoline poured over my waning fire for Jesus. I am so tired of complacency and comfort in my walk with God. I want a burden that runs deep to consume my heart. I want to crave time in the Word as if my life depended on because guess what? IT DOES.
I want to have my heart broken for what breaks my Heavenly Father's. I want to be moved beyond the point of despair for the lost and hurting in this world. I want to feel a major sense of urgency to spread His saving message! I don't want to talk about what "the church needs." I feel it's my time to be selfish. I need to take an inward retreat and get myself in shape so that I can effectively minister to those that God has placed in my charge.
I just want more...anyone feel the way I do?